Why The Golden Globes Are Crap.

The Golden Globes are crap. Yes, you heard it here. Why, you as? While the Globes have been around awhile (since 1944), they are not reputable. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association are the hosts, which pretty much makes no sense. Foreign Press? Foreign Press?! What does that have to do with film and actual talent? Not much. Plus since it has the word "Press" in the title, that really makes me think it is a marketing ploy, rather than an actual determination of talent from actual style makers (like say, the Oscars).

Basically the awards show was designed to make money. Ya see, the HFPA puts on this shendig to rub elbows with the rich and famous. Basically, the movie makers of Hollywood lobby and recruit votes because if they don't then they don't get nominated. If they don't get nominated, they don't get to go to the event and then they don't get the fake "prestige." And since everyone (the stars, E! Channel, reputable press sources etc..) is playing along with this scam (ie that the Globes matter), then it DOES matter if your film is not nominated. So, basically the Golden Globes is a way for the HFPA to seem important and the movie makers get to win fake awards they lobbied for. In all reality, the Golden Globes are a three hour event that advertises movies. You are basically watching one big long trailer.

So why do the stars go then, you ask? Well, they have to. They are under contract to promote their movies, which includes "award" shows, and sit there, smiling the whole way through.

You seemed shocked, right?

Well, here's some proof. If you watched last evening, host Ricky Gervais presented an opening monologue with a serious, serious party foul: He basically outed the scam of the Globes, to those in the know. While, I am sure HFPA is not thrilled with Gervais, everyone who's in the know had a moment to acknowlede that "we are all just playing along."

Here is the transcript of what he said:

Ricky Gervais:

It was a big year for 3-D movies: Toy Story, Despicable Me, Tron. Seems like everything this year was 3 dimensional. Except the characters in The Tourist, um...I feel bad about that joke...no...no I tell you what, I am jumping on the bandwagon! Cause I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?! Um, but no! It must be good cause it's nominated. So shut up, okay? And I'd like to crush this ridiculous rumor going around that the only reason The Tourist was nominated was so that the Hollywood Foreign Press could hang out with Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. That is rubbish! That is not the only reason. They also accepted bribes. (camera pans to Depp who is having a hard time not laughing, and quiet applause starts to be heard).

With such a sarcastic host, how else do you take this?

All this being said, the best part of the evening was seeing and hearing from Michael Douglas, cancer-free.